by Dalton Belcher
Friendship in the Bible
The talented singer/songwriter, movie star, and media mogul Tim McGraw knows a thing or two about friends. It takes a whole lot of good friends to reach the level of success he has. Whether it is emotional support, spiritual guidance, financial advice, or even a good joke; friends can make all the difference. In one of McGraw’s songs, “I’ve Got Friends That Do”, it’s a song that is able to bring a sense of spirituality to friendship. “And I may not know what it's like/To send my only soul to save the world and watch him die/And I may not know how it feels/To hang there on the cross to prove that love is real/But I got friends that do, yeah, I got friends that do”. In the song, McGraw is singing of the love that God has for humanity and while he may not be able to understand it, he knows it was an act of pure friendship from God to him to save his life.
It permeates our culture, friendship; actors like Will Ferrell and Seth Rogen have made a career of “bromance” films. They chronicle the forming of friendships that endure tribulations and make a positive impact of both parties. It’s not uncommon; Jesus had friends, 12 in fact. The disciples were known as his “inner circle”, but this is just another way of saying that they are his friends. Let’s take away the knowledge we have today that Jesus is the savior of the world and what is he? He’s more akin to a lunatic wandering the desert than a person worth following. Now, that sounds a bit rash, but to the outside world, that’s what that had to look like. Jesus’ teachings were radical and seeing that the predominant religion of the time was upheld by the Pharisees, who were less than happy to deal with what Jesus was preaching, it stands stop reason that anyone that stood with him would be looked at negatively. These were men who were stepping away from the only lives they had known into a world of uncertainty. They had no set home, they had to count on the kindness of strangers, and they had no idea what ramifications they would experience for following this man. When it you think about it, it was no small task, but this is why the disciples’ relationship with Jesus is a perfect picture of friendship. Certain disciples display different types of friendship that we see today.
The Friend is Mightier Than the Sword?
Peter is the emotional friend. He’s quick to react, a bit hot-tempered, but his intentions are usually pure. When Jesus cuts the ear off of the solider trying to apprehend Jesus, he shows that he is someone you’d want to have your back. The problem with Peter is that he is a bit too quick-on-the-draw when it comes to tough decisions. Peter denies that he is a disciple of Jesus three times and shows that he isn’t loyal to Jesus. While he was the first to defend him in his presence, once Jesus was gone, he turned his back. This is a common friend nowadays, someone who is your staunchest defender in front of you and then forgets you as soon as it’s convenient for them. Jesus knew Peter would deny him, he even told Peter this, in Mark 14:30 – “Before the cock crow twice thou shalt deny me thrice", Peter responds that he would never do so. It’s something we see happen a lot. Your friend promises you they’ll be there for you and you let it go (knowing they will let you down). The key to this friendship is how Jesus responds to Peter breaking his promise and leaving Jesus behind, with forgiveness. Jesus doesn’t let Peter forget his transgressions, he makes him confirm he loves him three times symbolically removing the three denials and then he forgives Peter. These friends, they aren’t ones to let your guard down around (not saying build a wall, I’m just saying do not put as much confidence in them as you might have otherwise), but never turn away from them, because they are trying to be a good friend, they just struggle with loyalty. Everyone has flaws and they are no different, it is key for one to be aware of this and not let this discourage them as a friend.
The First to Follow, Last to Leave
The first disciple to follow Jesus was Andrew. Andrew’s character displays one seen with many “first friends”. He’s practical, when Jesus feeds the crowd with fish and bread, it is Andrew who first notices the boy with the fish and bread and brings him to Jesus, but he also points out that it is clearly not enough to fulfill the needs of the crowd. This shows two very important characteristics of Andrew. He believed in Jesus, he knew that if anyone was going to be able to do something to help, it was Jesus. This is important in a friendship and often seen by your first friend. They were the first to see the special light in you, like Andrew was with Jesus, and they are the first to turn to you when the odds are seemingly insurmountable. Secondly, Andrew is pragmatic; he knows that the situation is less than ideal. Sometimes, we get ourselves into positions that just aren’t practical and we need someone to reel us back in. An “Andrew friend” never hesitates to pump you back up, but is always aware of the times when you need to be kept in check.
The Friends We Choose
Matthew was chosen by Jesus to start following him. He was a corrupt tax collector and Jesus saw something in him that he liked. There isn't a lot of interaction between the two found in the Bible, but their introduction demonstrates enough to show another way Jesus views friendship. Jesus knows that a tax collector is a thankless position. Many of them were corrupt and most were disliked by the people. The only reason they were able to get away with what they did (charging higher tax rates so they could take a cut), was because of protection by Roman soldiers. Jesus could have chosen any friend he wanted and he chose someone that was considered the lowest of the low, morally. Matthew had money, but his values were compromised. In life, there will be times when friends are not where they need to be, whether that be emotionally, morally, or spiritually and it is our duty as their friend to help them rise up. Jesus took in Matthew, he was a friend to him and Matthew went on to do great things. Matthew became a driving force behind early Christianity and gives one of the most accessible accounts of Jesus’ life in his gospel text. Not only does Matthew and Jesus’ relationship show that building friends up is important, but it teaches us that just because someone appears to be well to-do on the surface, it does not mean they aren’t lacking in another way. Matthew had riches, but he was missing something. When Jesus chose Matthew and he decided to follow, it was the change he had needed in his life all along.
Friends We Love
For everyone, there is one best friend. You may have a large group of friends, but only one will really stand out to you. Only one is one you would be willing to trust your family to. As I love to do, I’ll draw from another Country song (because they are the kind of songs that speak the truth). Darryl Worley’s “If Something Should Happen” is a song about a man who is having a possibly fatal surgery and is telling his best friend that he needs to know there’s someone there for his family if things go wrong. The song hinges on the fact that he knows there’s uncertainty in his future and there’s only one person he trusts to be able to fill his role with his family, to give his wife some comfort and joy (“But if something should happen/Stop in some time and say hello to Catherine/You and Marianne could always keep her laughing/She’s gonna need a lot of that”) and to teach his son the things a father is supposed to (“If something should happen/Oh promise me you'll take that boy out camping/Throw a line out in the water every now and then/Answer any questions that he has/Maybe once he gets older/You can sit and have that first cold beer together/And tell him a couple stories on his father/He's always known your my best friend.”). It’s this kind of friendship that is seen with Jesus and John the Apostle. It is known that Jesus had twelve disciples, but he also had an inner circle of four men that he was closer to than the others, John was a part of that group. When Jesus knows he is going to be hung on the cross, he wanted to know his mother, Mary, was going to be taken care of. It is not known for sure, but it is regularly assumed that Jesus entrusted the care of Mary to John. This is similar to the lyrics of the song, a mother (like a wife or a son) is one of the most important things in a man’s life and to entrust the care of that person is not something to be taken lightly. John is referred to as the “disciple that Jesus loved” which is as good as saying that John was his best friend. John’s love for Jesus is evident as seen when Jesus is rejected from a Samaritan village, James and his brother John asked if they should call down fire from heaven to destroy the place. John was actually willing to murder a full village of people with fire (not a very quick or painless death) because they rejected Jesus. It’s something that we can relate to, albeit on a less murderous level. When your best friend is rejected by a romantic partner or when they do not get the opportunity that they feel they deserve, that person is now your worst enemy. It’s why so many best friends are enemies with their best friend’s relationship partner, because they want to protect their friend and they know that they’ve let their guard down and could get hurt. Jesus tells them not to do so, but it’s the intentions that matters. They were a bit misguided, but they wanted to defend their friend’s honor and that’s something that we can take in and try to apply to our own lives. When your friend is in need, never hesitate to give them your full support.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (NIV)
Friendship in the Bible
The talented singer/songwriter, movie star, and media mogul Tim McGraw knows a thing or two about friends. It takes a whole lot of good friends to reach the level of success he has. Whether it is emotional support, spiritual guidance, financial advice, or even a good joke; friends can make all the difference. In one of McGraw’s songs, “I’ve Got Friends That Do”, it’s a song that is able to bring a sense of spirituality to friendship. “And I may not know what it's like/To send my only soul to save the world and watch him die/And I may not know how it feels/To hang there on the cross to prove that love is real/But I got friends that do, yeah, I got friends that do”. In the song, McGraw is singing of the love that God has for humanity and while he may not be able to understand it, he knows it was an act of pure friendship from God to him to save his life.
It permeates our culture, friendship; actors like Will Ferrell and Seth Rogen have made a career of “bromance” films. They chronicle the forming of friendships that endure tribulations and make a positive impact of both parties. It’s not uncommon; Jesus had friends, 12 in fact. The disciples were known as his “inner circle”, but this is just another way of saying that they are his friends. Let’s take away the knowledge we have today that Jesus is the savior of the world and what is he? He’s more akin to a lunatic wandering the desert than a person worth following. Now, that sounds a bit rash, but to the outside world, that’s what that had to look like. Jesus’ teachings were radical and seeing that the predominant religion of the time was upheld by the Pharisees, who were less than happy to deal with what Jesus was preaching, it stands stop reason that anyone that stood with him would be looked at negatively. These were men who were stepping away from the only lives they had known into a world of uncertainty. They had no set home, they had to count on the kindness of strangers, and they had no idea what ramifications they would experience for following this man. When it you think about it, it was no small task, but this is why the disciples’ relationship with Jesus is a perfect picture of friendship. Certain disciples display different types of friendship that we see today.
The Friend is Mightier Than the Sword?
Peter is the emotional friend. He’s quick to react, a bit hot-tempered, but his intentions are usually pure. When Jesus cuts the ear off of the solider trying to apprehend Jesus, he shows that he is someone you’d want to have your back. The problem with Peter is that he is a bit too quick-on-the-draw when it comes to tough decisions. Peter denies that he is a disciple of Jesus three times and shows that he isn’t loyal to Jesus. While he was the first to defend him in his presence, once Jesus was gone, he turned his back. This is a common friend nowadays, someone who is your staunchest defender in front of you and then forgets you as soon as it’s convenient for them. Jesus knew Peter would deny him, he even told Peter this, in Mark 14:30 – “Before the cock crow twice thou shalt deny me thrice", Peter responds that he would never do so. It’s something we see happen a lot. Your friend promises you they’ll be there for you and you let it go (knowing they will let you down). The key to this friendship is how Jesus responds to Peter breaking his promise and leaving Jesus behind, with forgiveness. Jesus doesn’t let Peter forget his transgressions, he makes him confirm he loves him three times symbolically removing the three denials and then he forgives Peter. These friends, they aren’t ones to let your guard down around (not saying build a wall, I’m just saying do not put as much confidence in them as you might have otherwise), but never turn away from them, because they are trying to be a good friend, they just struggle with loyalty. Everyone has flaws and they are no different, it is key for one to be aware of this and not let this discourage them as a friend.
The First to Follow, Last to Leave
The first disciple to follow Jesus was Andrew. Andrew’s character displays one seen with many “first friends”. He’s practical, when Jesus feeds the crowd with fish and bread, it is Andrew who first notices the boy with the fish and bread and brings him to Jesus, but he also points out that it is clearly not enough to fulfill the needs of the crowd. This shows two very important characteristics of Andrew. He believed in Jesus, he knew that if anyone was going to be able to do something to help, it was Jesus. This is important in a friendship and often seen by your first friend. They were the first to see the special light in you, like Andrew was with Jesus, and they are the first to turn to you when the odds are seemingly insurmountable. Secondly, Andrew is pragmatic; he knows that the situation is less than ideal. Sometimes, we get ourselves into positions that just aren’t practical and we need someone to reel us back in. An “Andrew friend” never hesitates to pump you back up, but is always aware of the times when you need to be kept in check.
The Friends We Choose
Matthew was chosen by Jesus to start following him. He was a corrupt tax collector and Jesus saw something in him that he liked. There isn't a lot of interaction between the two found in the Bible, but their introduction demonstrates enough to show another way Jesus views friendship. Jesus knows that a tax collector is a thankless position. Many of them were corrupt and most were disliked by the people. The only reason they were able to get away with what they did (charging higher tax rates so they could take a cut), was because of protection by Roman soldiers. Jesus could have chosen any friend he wanted and he chose someone that was considered the lowest of the low, morally. Matthew had money, but his values were compromised. In life, there will be times when friends are not where they need to be, whether that be emotionally, morally, or spiritually and it is our duty as their friend to help them rise up. Jesus took in Matthew, he was a friend to him and Matthew went on to do great things. Matthew became a driving force behind early Christianity and gives one of the most accessible accounts of Jesus’ life in his gospel text. Not only does Matthew and Jesus’ relationship show that building friends up is important, but it teaches us that just because someone appears to be well to-do on the surface, it does not mean they aren’t lacking in another way. Matthew had riches, but he was missing something. When Jesus chose Matthew and he decided to follow, it was the change he had needed in his life all along.
Friends We Love
For everyone, there is one best friend. You may have a large group of friends, but only one will really stand out to you. Only one is one you would be willing to trust your family to. As I love to do, I’ll draw from another Country song (because they are the kind of songs that speak the truth). Darryl Worley’s “If Something Should Happen” is a song about a man who is having a possibly fatal surgery and is telling his best friend that he needs to know there’s someone there for his family if things go wrong. The song hinges on the fact that he knows there’s uncertainty in his future and there’s only one person he trusts to be able to fill his role with his family, to give his wife some comfort and joy (“But if something should happen/Stop in some time and say hello to Catherine/You and Marianne could always keep her laughing/She’s gonna need a lot of that”) and to teach his son the things a father is supposed to (“If something should happen/Oh promise me you'll take that boy out camping/Throw a line out in the water every now and then/Answer any questions that he has/Maybe once he gets older/You can sit and have that first cold beer together/And tell him a couple stories on his father/He's always known your my best friend.”). It’s this kind of friendship that is seen with Jesus and John the Apostle. It is known that Jesus had twelve disciples, but he also had an inner circle of four men that he was closer to than the others, John was a part of that group. When Jesus knows he is going to be hung on the cross, he wanted to know his mother, Mary, was going to be taken care of. It is not known for sure, but it is regularly assumed that Jesus entrusted the care of Mary to John. This is similar to the lyrics of the song, a mother (like a wife or a son) is one of the most important things in a man’s life and to entrust the care of that person is not something to be taken lightly. John is referred to as the “disciple that Jesus loved” which is as good as saying that John was his best friend. John’s love for Jesus is evident as seen when Jesus is rejected from a Samaritan village, James and his brother John asked if they should call down fire from heaven to destroy the place. John was actually willing to murder a full village of people with fire (not a very quick or painless death) because they rejected Jesus. It’s something that we can relate to, albeit on a less murderous level. When your best friend is rejected by a romantic partner or when they do not get the opportunity that they feel they deserve, that person is now your worst enemy. It’s why so many best friends are enemies with their best friend’s relationship partner, because they want to protect their friend and they know that they’ve let their guard down and could get hurt. Jesus tells them not to do so, but it’s the intentions that matters. They were a bit misguided, but they wanted to defend their friend’s honor and that’s something that we can take in and try to apply to our own lives. When your friend is in need, never hesitate to give them your full support.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (NIV)